Mamaramma

In the category of "Mommy Blogs": a chronicle of my life in Chicago and wherever it takes me. Stories from my past.

Monday, March 28, 2005

Kramer did this on Seinfeld tonight in a rerun... only he had gonorrhea.

Now we all know that the actor's life is a glamorous one, right? Oh yes, my brotha. Now auditorily (is that a word? It is tonight!) imagine a record scratching to a halt. As it does, your focus goes to me, Mamaramma, who tomorrow will be doing another gig of... MEDICAL ACTING!
That's right, medical acting. In my case, I will be playing Alicia Hill, a 29 year old who is 16 weeks pregnant and is a Quality Assurance Technician at Stein Tool and Dye co. Oh yes, and Alicia Hill smokes a pack of Virginia Slims a day. If any of you nurses in training are reading this, umm... don't cause maybe I'll get in trouble for giving the case info away.
I did this last year when I was 8 months pregnant (so was Alicia Hill), and my character still supoosedly smoked a pack a day, and let me tell you, it is not fun to be lectured over and over again by all these nurses in training about how you're possibly going to have a low birthweight baby because you're an irresponsible mother to be. I kept wanting to scream, "It's not me! It's this Alicia Hill! I don't smoke at all! I never have!" And if I had ever smoked, I would have quit if I were pregnant. Now, the cocaine, that's another question.
So tomorrow, as I pile my glamorous self into a car at 5:30a.m. in my fat clothes cause Alicia Hill is also supposed to be fatter than I am, and if the nurses are on top of their game, they'll lecture me on that one, too - think of the glamorous life actors lead. All for $15 an hour. And a babysitter costs $10 an hour.
Can I steal from Susie? WHAT WAS I THINKING???

Kramer did this on Seinfeld tonight in a rerun... only he had gonorrhea.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

This post is just like reading People Magazine's StarTracks!...sort of, not.

David Letterman just had a kidnapping scare. Some lunatic in Montana (my favorite state - no offense to other valuable governances, it's just where my heart hangs its hat) was apparently plotting to kidnap his toddler, Harry. On the Late Night show Monday night, Letterman tipped his hat to the people and sheriff's office of Choteau, MT, where his ranch, estate, mansion - whatever! is, where the officials brought this lunatic in, and where Will, myself, and some other folks once presented Shakespeare's "The Tempest" to a gracious audience of about 100 on the lawn of a retirement home in a horrible windstorm - some might say, a Tempest! (Does that win the award for the longest run on sentence today?)
Anyway, all this reminded me that Choteau was where I had one of my celebrity sightings- so now may I present for you... (ahem) (*trumpets and fanfare*)
MAMARAMMA'S CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS

1. In college, I went to see Mr. Holland's Opus at the Biograph Theatre in Chicago, Waiting in line to see the movie was one Emo Phillips, the comedian.
2. Also, in college, during the first season of Friends, my friend was in a play produced by some graduates of Northwestern Univeristy, David Schwimmer's alma mater. He was at the cast party, but sat in a darkened corner and wore sunglasses the whole time. Give me a break! I hear he's a big jerk. You can tell me if I'm wrong.
3. My first summer touring with Montana Shakespeare, we played this beautiful resort area, Chico Hot Springs. At the pool/grill, we saw Meg Ryan, pre-divorce, leaving with her kids. Some German little girls asked for her autograph and she obliged.
4. My second summer, my parents were visiting in CHOTEAU, and we all went out to breakfast at a little restaurant. When we got up to leave, Ed Harris and his wife,Amy Madigan were seated at our table. My dad about had a heart attack.
5. My third and last summer touring MT we were back at Chico Hot Springs, and this time Dennis Quaid, post-divorce, and some blonde hottie actually came to see our show. We were doing the Comedy of Errors, and I think I drove him away, He left before the first act was over. I had later reports that he was drunk and caused a ruckus in the dining room. He sped off in his Cadillac Escalade.
6. Also in Montana, in Bozeman, while waiting in line to see the movie Signs, we saw Michael Keaton and someone I assumed to be his son. They saw the movie too.
7. Finally, this fall when Will was doing his show in NYC, Little Bird and I spotted Blythe Danner and classy lady friend walking down the street. I was excited, but the New Yorkers I was with were so been there, done that.

That, my friends, concludes my list. It is useless, but I had fun remembering!
Have a wonderful evening, morning, afternoon - whatever!

This post is just like reading People Magazine's StarTracks!...sort of, not.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Exhibit A: Minor Mobility Achieved

Mayabird, she of 11 and a half months, has refused to crawl, refused to sit up from lying down, and refused to roll over more than one way. She will, however, do a 5K around the apartment if you hold her little hands. After a crappy day of interviewing yesterday, this is what I was so happy to come home to. I've devoured those cheeks on more than one occasion, but they keep growing back!

In response to a few comments about homemade babymaking from a couple of posts ago: you don't even need a craft-kit - most people have all the tools they need right around the house: Easy!

Exhibit A: Minor Mobility Achieved

Monday, March 21, 2005

Tag Along

Skin tags, sale tags, blog tags, they're all the same! Greenthumb "tagged" me with this, and being the benevolent creature that I am, I'm going to comply. OK, Greenthumb, I'll play your little game, but after this, you owe me some Ding Dongs! (just kidding)
1. What book would I like to be?
Pride and Prejudice
2.Have I ever had a crush on a fictional character?
Marius Pontmercy from Les Miserables (the book, not the musical)
3.What is the last book I bought?
don't remember... well, I bought a book for Will for his b-day. A non-fiction book about genocide - does that count?
4. What is the last book I read?
Pride and Prejudice
5.What am I currently reading?
Buzz Buzz Busy Bees, Noisy Nora, Hairy Monkey (I have a baby - this is my curriculum)
6. What 5 books would I take with me if I were stranded on an island?
Anna Karenina, Les Miserables, The Red Tent, Grapes of Wrath, To Kill a Mockingbird
7. What 3 people am I going to tag and make answer these questions and why?
I think everyone's been tagged already!

Tag Along

Friday, March 18, 2005

Family Photo in Browns and Reds: well, it was Thanksgiving!


Hello - have you met Will? Will's my super-smart, super-talented, super-cute husband. (Check out that crazy Adam's Apple!) He and I made this baby you see here, but we adopted that dog to the right. We don't know who her parents are, but they must be of the canine persuasion. This isn't the best picture of all of us, but it's the only one, believe it or not. Maya's sporting a nice Last of the Mohicans hairdo courtesy of my mom.

Family Photo in Browns and Reds: well, it was Thanksgiving!

Thursday, March 17, 2005

I feel pretty, Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and BLECCHHH.


In honor of Bad Hair Self Portrait Day. Once again, I arrive late to the party, but how can you turn me away when I look this awful? That'd be kicking me while I'm down. Hey, I brought Cheezits. Does anyone like Cheezits? What? This is a dessert party? Man! Stupid! Stupid!

I feel pretty, Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and BLECCHHH.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Is there a pet psychic in the house?

I don't know what happened. I just spent about thirty minutes writing a dissertation about how our dog, Ollie, needs a little bit of counseling - and it's gone, completely gone. I'll quickly give you the highlights as I don't have time to recreate the whole thing:

1. Our dog can't be left alone for any real length of time (i.e. 3 hours)
2. We must Ollie-proof the apartment when we do leave.
3. If we don't I may find my cheesy, used breast pads shredded all over the floor. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, they smell like gruyere after awhile, which is why I now have a hard time with the whole Swiss family. I wonder if another woman's old milk would smell like cheddar. Ah well, a subject for another time.
4. We made the mistake of RUNNING ERRANDS today - were gone too long.
5. Came home to find our bed sheets shredded - like a crazy murderer had been there - or like Freddy Krueger, who, when analyzed, fits into the category of crazy murderer.
6. They were really nice sheets - a wedding gift - and I now know that I can never have anything nice.

Case in point: My old favortie shoes.
We were driving to a birthday party for a friend, and I had made the cupcakes. They were precariously balanced on a tray that I carried in my lap when we were rear-ended. Icing was everywhere, including my shoes. I thought it was funny, so I took a picture:

Before

I made the mistake of leaving them out overnight. I thought nothing would happen. We were home, and Ollie's not crazy when we're home, right?

WRONG!

After

Baby's awake!

Is there a pet psychic in the house?

Monday, March 14, 2005

Ramblings

I should be preparing for my Teach for America interview right now instead of hanging out on the computer, - (well, I'm not on the computer. That would be uncomfortable!) - but I'm having a hard time motivating myself. Listen, I washed the dishes, made about a kazillion animal noises looking through THE BIG ANIMAL BOOK with Maya til she fell asleep from all of the excitement, put on some 5lb. ankle weights and walked around ( that should burn about 5 calories!), and listen, I even took. a. shower. Now, if that's not a full day, I don't know what is!
Confession: Forgive me myself, for I have sinned. I tried to stay away from the coffee this morning like we talked about, but it CALLED to me. It's New Mexico Pinon coffee, and it is d.e.l.i.c.i.o.u.s. In penance, I will probably do nothing.
Bye for now.

Ramblings

Saturday, March 12, 2005

The jig is up.

I don't feel like I have anything to hide on this blog. I make it a personal policy to not write anything about anyone that I wouldn't tell them personally. Nevertheless, the only person who knows about this thing is Will, my husband, and now my friend Jen - hi Jen!
Jen came over last night for some pad thai and cosmos. She doesn't have a computer at home, so she was checking something online, and discovered this blog left up on the screen. Initially, I was embarrassed. It was like being in 8th grade thinking you're alone at home singing at the top of your lungs to some Jodi Watley song and having the cute boy down the street hear you through the open windows. AGONY! But then I thought, wait a minute, I have nothing to hide.
So why am I still a little embarrassed? Does anyone understand this feeling?

The jig is up.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Late Edition


P3090040
Originally uploaded by Mamaramma.

Busier today than usual - here's my late contribution to Self Portrait Thurs...

Late Edition

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

It's over.

Dear chocolate cake,
What a day it's been! You were brought over here last night by a friend, your mom, and she just abandoned you and the plate you rode in on. I don't know how a mother could do that, but there you are now, on my kitchen counter, making those sad eyes at me. Listen, I had some of you last night, and you were delicious, you really were, but we just can't be together all the time. I want my freedom. I starting to see this new salad, and things look like they might work out so... What's that? You're cold? I know I didn't even put any saran wrap around you last night. It's cause, OK, I confess, I wanted you to dry out. I wanted you not to look like you would taste so good. Dammit! It's not working. Why don't I just throw you away, you ask? Well, I don't know. I have a hard time committing. Sometimes, I think maybe I'll just stick my finger in your buttery icing, and just... No No No. Don't do it. I'm gonna do it, chocolate cake. I'm gonna throw you away. It was fun while it lasted, but I've got big dreams, and I don't want anything holding me back. Besides, I've got a date with pizza tonight. No, you don't know him.

It's over.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Spokesmodel


P2210025
Originally uploaded by Mamaramma.

Maya decided to don some of the merchandise from the Montana Shakespeare company that we are so fond of. I think she should be paid for such enthusiasm!

Spokesmodel

Monday, March 07, 2005

Ghost Story

I hate ghosts - not ghosts themselves, but the idea of them. I hate the idea that there is someone/thing that is so restless it has to "haunt" a certain place forever, or really for any length of time. It's just creepy to me. It also brings up a whole slew of afterlife questions that don't jive with my perfect vision of afterlife: reincarnation or heaven - NOTHING ELSE.
The summer Will and I were married, we were on tour with a Shakespeare company in Montana. We traveled to a new town almost every day, and two thirds of the time, we would be put up in hotels. The other nights, people from the community would put us up. As the newlyweds of the company, we often got the best homestays. Sometimes there would be a bottle of champaign in our room. The people of Montana are wonderful. Let me say that again: THE PEOPLE OF MONTANA ARE WONDERFUL.
But there was one night. We were in a tiny little town practically off the map. The town sponsor decided who would be sleeping where, and as a TREAT for us, the newlyweds, she decided that we would be staying in the haunted Bed and Breakfast.
To make a long story short, after brushing past all the headless mannequins in wedding dresses, we were shown our room. I made Will promise not to fall asleep before I did. I was not interested in meeting the former town residents that evening. Will kept his promise. BUT. I woke up in the middle of the night. No problem, I thought, I can handle this. I'll just roll over and fall back asleep. I don't need Will to fall back asleep. So I rolled over, and there, lying next to me was a 20 something woman with strawberry blonde hair cut in a bob. She said, "Why are you afraid of us?" At that moment, I felt a mixture of TOTAL FREAKING-OUTEDNESS and embarrassment. I didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings, living, dead, or undead. "I'm not!" I said. It's just that I'm not used to the whole idea." She went on, "You know when you're reading a book..." I interrupted her. "Hold on." and rolled over. "WILL!!!!" I started shaking him awake. He woke up, and I told him what happened, but even the next morning, I couldn't be sure if it was a dream that woke me or the strawberry blonde lady herself.
The next morning we went down for breakfast lovingly made for us by the 93 year old proprieter. "How are you doing this morning?" we asked. She replied, "Well, if I were any better, I'd be... DEAD."
!!!

Ghost Story

Warning

Dear Will,
Why, oh why, do you have to touch me with your feet? Don't you know that your feet touch the floor? Don't you know that we have a dog, and that that dog rubs her anus on the floor when she licks herself? Don't you know that when your feet are not touching the floor, they are bound in socks and hiking boots, possibly producing copious quantities of sweat... sweat that sticks to the dog hair that's been shed on the floor? I love you so much. I love every part of you. I even love your two alabaster white feet. But that doesn't mean you have to touch me with them.
Now you think it's funny and that means, my friend, my companion, my past and future - that means you are e v i l. Next time you bring those things near me, I will cut you.
Love, Me

Warning

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Of Pride, Prejudice, and Dolls in Houses

For the last two months, I have been working with two high school classes as an Artist in Residence from a theatre here in town. The juniors wrote a modernized scene based on Pride and Prejudice, and the seniors rehearsed the last scene from A Doll's House, but set it in three different time periods: 1879, 1946, and 2005. Every Tuesday and Thursday, I have taken over their English class, and gotten to know them better. Where at first, they seemed like young punks just waiting to stomp on any shred of self confidence I walked into the room with, by the end, they were "my kids", my cohorts. Thursday night, we presented these scenes to about 200 people at the theatre I work with. Their teacher, their families, their classmates, and their friends all came out to support them, and they were so good. I can't even tell you. We may even have a future actor or two in the bunch. Anyway, this isn't as much of a tribute to them as I would like it to be, but here they are: my dedicated, amazingl, talented bunch. You were wonderful, and I'm going to miss you all. And thank you [junior who played Darcy] for wearing your own zoot suit to the performance. THAT ROCKED!

Of Pride, Prejudice, and Dolls in Houses

I'm sorry this isn't a better photo - you deserve better!


P3030017
Originally uploaded by Mamaramma.


These are only a few of my actors; my other pictures were even worse. I love you guys!

I'm sorry this isn't a better photo - you deserve better!

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Self Portrait Thursday


P3020033
Originally uploaded by Mamaramma.


My first contribution to SPT: Oh, Nikon D70, how I wish for you so!

Self Portrait Thursday

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

The babysitter cancelled...OK, there WAS no babysitter.

Miss Maya had her first audition last night. We drove out to the burbs to this theatre, running late as usual. I was the last one scheduled for the day. The director was this sweet older woman who took Maya out of my hands as I walked in and said, "Here Darling, I'll take the baby. You run to the bathroom and get yourself ready. Then you and Jonathan will talk about your music." She was so authoritative that I did what she said, even though I didn't have to go to the bathroom. But I went anyway. It was like being 7 and having your mom MAKE you go to the bathroom before you drove to Grandma's. I came out and Maya immediately started crying to be back with me, so that's how we did things; I got up on stage with Maya in my arms, sang my uptempo, sang my ballad, and finished the audition. The whole time Maya kind of crooned along with me. It was so much fun! I hope I can do every audition like that - it sure takes the nerves away: having something so much important than this piddly little moment in your arms. But Maya, I am SO GOING TO BLAME YOU if I don't get cast.

The babysitter cancelled...OK, there WAS no babysitter.

So far so good.

So Will and I found out last night that both of our applications were accepted and we're now invited to a day-long interview later in March. So I guess I better get off my butt and start preparing something! If this works out for one or both of us, we'll be out of Chicago by summer. Good. That's what we want.

So far so good.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Waiting

I'm going to start using real names now. I figure I'm not saying anything I wouldn't say to anyone, so why not?

Anyway, Will and I both applied for Teach for America last month, and today is the day they send out notifications letting you know whether or not they want to see you for an interview based on your essays and resume, etc. It's usually a job that recent college grads apply for, but us being actors who now have a baby need to really quickly turn into people who have insurance.
I'm also getting ready to go to an audition in one of the suburbs an HOUR AWAY - hopefully to get cast in a little musical that would give me the privelege of driving TWO HOURS A DAY to get to the show. But we need some kind of employment for April when Will's show ends. We need to be people who have insurance!
Wish us luck.

By the by, Little Bird's real name is Maya Wren (hence the bird reference). I still call her Little Bird at home though. I love her so much.

Waiting

It was like meeting Hansen

In the World of Embarrassing Stories, I just remembered one that made me cry.

My husband and I met while touring with a Shakespeare company in beautiful Montana. One summer, we were out at breakfast, and a family came over to our table to say hi, that they'd seen the show, etc. etc. Anyway, they stayed in my mind because 1) I found out that the mom and I had the same birthday and 2) they introduced us to their little girl, Jack. She was a pretty little girl with long blond hair about 8 years old. Anyway, it was a pleasant encounter. Back in Chicago, months later, I would tell W. that if we were to ever have a little girl, maybe we should name her Jack, cause that is just too cool.
Fast forward a year later. W. and I went to Montana to visit friends and to see the shows that year. While waiting for the show to start (it's an outdoor theater), the SAME FAMILY came over to us to say hi. I was so excited to see them because I remembered them! We've met a lot of people touring Montana, and from year to year, it's hard to remember faces, much less names. But THIS family I remembered. The mom had the same birthday as me, which happened to be THAT DAY!
"Happy birthday!" I said.
"Wow! You remember!" she said.
"Sure, I said. And I also know your name is Jack - cause I told my husband that if we ever have a little girl, we're going to name her Jack!"
"Except he's a boy."
pan over to little 9 year old boy looking anguished that I just called him a girl
"Oh, of course."

The conversation ended without even the standard niceties. They walked away. I wanted to die.

I wonder if Jack has gotten his hair cut yet.

It was like meeting Hansen


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