In the category of "Mommy Blogs": a chronicle of my life in Chicago and wherever it takes me. Stories from my past.

Monday, March 28, 2005

Kramer did this on Seinfeld tonight in a rerun... only he had gonorrhea.

Now we all know that the actor's life is a glamorous one, right? Oh yes, my brotha. Now auditorily (is that a word? It is tonight!) imagine a record scratching to a halt. As it does, your focus goes to me, Mamaramma, who tomorrow will be doing another gig of... MEDICAL ACTING!
That's right, medical acting. In my case, I will be playing Alicia Hill, a 29 year old who is 16 weeks pregnant and is a Quality Assurance Technician at Stein Tool and Dye co. Oh yes, and Alicia Hill smokes a pack of Virginia Slims a day. If any of you nurses in training are reading this, umm... don't cause maybe I'll get in trouble for giving the case info away.
I did this last year when I was 8 months pregnant (so was Alicia Hill), and my character still supoosedly smoked a pack a day, and let me tell you, it is not fun to be lectured over and over again by all these nurses in training about how you're possibly going to have a low birthweight baby because you're an irresponsible mother to be. I kept wanting to scream, "It's not me! It's this Alicia Hill! I don't smoke at all! I never have!" And if I had ever smoked, I would have quit if I were pregnant. Now, the cocaine, that's another question.
So tomorrow, as I pile my glamorous self into a car at 5:30a.m. in my fat clothes cause Alicia Hill is also supposed to be fatter than I am, and if the nurses are on top of their game, they'll lecture me on that one, too - think of the glamorous life actors lead. All for $15 an hour. And a babysitter costs $10 an hour.
Can I steal from Susie? WHAT WAS I THINKING???

Kramer did this on Seinfeld tonight in a rerun... only he had gonorrhea.


At 9:30 AM, Blogger Greenthumb said...

Look at this way, you got enough money out of it for those Virgin Slims or was that cocain? Hold on....

HONEY!!! I tink I need more codine cough medicine.

At 11:03 AM, Blogger Cat said...

This is one of my FAVORITE Seinfelds! I LOVE Kramer's take on gonorrhea... "She made me burn; a lot like the burning I experience when I pee..." You DO this? Oh. My MY. Hey, that's some decent side cashola, though. I should look into it. Maybe break into the biz, you know? I could do a mean toxemia with a side of gestational diabetes.

Thank you! Good night!

At 7:39 PM, Blogger Susie said...

I somehow managed to miss that Seinfeld; I thought I'd seen 'em all. Remember, there are no small parts. (Only small paychecks.) No, you break a leg, and don't forget us when you're collecting your Oscars and Emmys and Tonys. And you can steal anything from me, anytime you want;)

At 7:50 PM, Blogger Susie said...

And another thing, Aaron Neville's prisonbitch name is "Hung-Like-a-Horse." Ahem. And I believe Tony Soprano's is "Eats-Like-a-Horse." I'm just sayin...

At 9:08 AM, Blogger Ern said...

The last medical actor I dealt with was in our gynecology lab, and it was a woman with vaginal itching. Can you imagine sitting there and telling med student after med student about your vaginal itching and discharge? And the male students haven't yet figured out how to say "vaginal" without getting all uncomfortable.

At 1:20 PM, Blogger Amanda B. said...

You love Willie Nelson too? I want to adopt him or kidnap him. Whichever comes first. ;)

At 2:01 PM, Blogger Greenthumb said...

Hello??? (looks around...wonders)

Oh hi..sorry. I was looking for this hot number, you might know her. Her name is Mammarama, have you seen her lately? Oh, okay..Well, if you do, will you tell her that Greenie stopped by? She'll know who I'm talking about.

cool, thanks. :o)

pssst! hope everything is okay.

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